The end of a journey

1930428_612120663129_8445_nDear Oxy Watchdog readers,

Six years ago, very shortly after my brother Pat’s death of a heroin overdose, I decided that I wanted to do something to increase awareness about the epidemic of prescription painkiller and opiate addiction in America today. The Oxy Watchdog blog, launched just a few months after Pat passed away, was intended to be a place where people could come to learn more about a problem that is increasingly affecting families across the nation. But it became much more than that. Through the blog, many people from various walks of life reached out to me and shared their own stories. Sometimes these stories were from other families who had lost loved ones, filling me with sadness at the tragic loss of life and the horrors of addiction. Sometimes these stories were from chronic pain sufferers who were indignant at what they saw as my mission to interfere with their medications. Sometimes these stories were from addicts themselves who spoke openly about their own challenges and the heartbreak their drug use had caused them.

What these stories illustrate is clear: we have a problem in this country with prescription painkillers. They are responsible for more than 16,000 deaths each year, and the widespread abuse of opioids has triggered a resurgence in the use of heroin. But even after six years of running this blog, when it comes to fixing this problem, I don’t have the answer. I agree that stricter prescribing rules are probably a good thing, and that state prescription monitoring databases can help us understand the scope of the problem and identify drug seekers and pill pushers. But from what I have observed, these measures have had the unintended effect of driving many people hooked on pain pills to use heroin, so that isn’t fixing the problem either. I also strongly believe that there is a time and a place for opioids. My father battled chronic lymphocytic leukemia for nine years before dying at age 47, and opioids undoubtedly eased his suffering and improved his quality of life. But it is important to note that opioids were originally intended for a very specific medical purpose: to treat short-term post-surgical and trauma-related pain, and for palliative care. The fact is that these drugs carry a substantial risk of addiction: numerous studies have shown that at least 15% and as many as 40% of patients will become addicted to opioids — even when taken as prescribed.

My brother was a wonderful person, full of laughter and love and light. He was the opposite of what you think of when you picture an IV heroin user. And while there are many factors that likely contributed to his substance abuse — including the fact that addiction is a brain disease with a genetic component — it is difficult to ignore the larger context; that our market is flooded with powerful painkillers, which too often fall into the wrong hands. In 2010, 254 million prescriptions for such drugs were filled in the U.S.—enough to medicate every adult in America around the clock for a month. Pat was just one of those recipients, and his progression from pill abuse to fatal heroin overdose is not uncommon. In 2010, almost 3,000 young adults age 18-25 died of pill overdoses — eight deaths a day. And heroin is making a comeback because it provides the same high, but is vastly cheaper — use of the street drug is up by a staggering 45%.

In addition to my blog, I have spent the last six years working on a book, Generation Rx. The book, published in August 2014, details my brother’s addiction and death, interspersed with stories of others whose lives have been affected by opiate addiction. I felt it was important to speak openly about what happened to Pat, because if it happened to him, it could happen to anyone. Our society as a whole still stigmatizes addiction, so the struggles of those affected by this epidemic are shrouded in shame. My hope is that my book, and this blog, will help change that. I have often struggled with the question of how Pat would feel about the sharing of some very intimate details of his addiction and death. Sometimes I think he’d be okay with it, since one of his greatest qualities was his desire to help others; sometimes I think he’d be hurt, embarrassed and angry. It has also been extremely difficult to throw my family’s story into the public eye, though they’ve been supportive of my mission to further awareness.

Six years ago today, we received the phone call no one ever wants to get. Six years ago feels like yesterday; I can still feel the warmth of Pat’s hug and hear his goofy giggle. I have spent the last six years trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never see Pat again, to give him a legacy, to feel that his death was not in vain, and — though I’d give anything to have it be otherwise — to believe that in death, he has helped others. It has been a long six years, and now that Generation Rx is published, I will be stepping away from Oxy Watchdog to focus on what lies ahead for me and my family. I’ll continue to be involved in education and awareness activities, and please feel free to continue to reach out to me. While I will no longer be updating the blog with news items, I hope that the resources and personal stories contained there will continue to be useful to others.

Thanks for reading.

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3 Responses to The end of a journey

  1. Cheryl Shean says:

    FB page: SAAAD – Stand Against Addiction And Deaths
    I became active with this group mid Jan 2015. I was reading your articles of watchdog and wondered why I hadn’t seen current ones then saw your blog post. Thank you for what you contributed to in bringing awareness. I am working with Jodi Barber in South Orange County, CA who lost her son Jan, 2010. She is a co-producer of Overtaken on youtube and
    My granddaughter is trapped in addiction and just OD again 5 days ago. In & out of rehabs and custody. I pray she will see the light and realize it will kill her. I will do all I can to bring awareness to addiction and deaths! Bless you and I’m going to go buy your book!

  2. Michele says:

    My heart goes out to you and your family. Another person needlessly stolen from his family. All because the medical community does not understand addiction How can they when all they get is a 1 week class on the subject matter and treatment. But you know this all too well. I pray your book becomes successful and helps others understand the dangers of these drugs.

    Sending you hugs,

  3. Kristina Joy Clements says:

    I just buried my 28 year old son 10 days ago. He fought oxycontin addiction for almost a decade. During that time he had relapsed on 4 occasions, but the majority of the ten years he was clean and had been clean for the prior 6 months. He was on his way to Boston where he was going to coach at a summer basketball camp for high school boys. It was his dream to start one of his own. He had a layover in NYC and went into the city for a few hours to kill time while he awaited his connecting flight to Boston. He spoke to his girlfriend at 3am saying he was on his way back to the airport. He stopped at a McDonalds in a seedy part of town to get a burger and was found dead at 5am in the bathroom stall. The McDonalds was written up a few days later in the NY Times as being known to “serve up more that whats on the menu.” ( abuse of prescription drugs is at an all time high and is the epidemic no one wants to talk about because of the stigma and shame surrounding the idea of addiction and the huge profits being made by the pharmaceutical industry by selling drugs that turn pain treatment into lifetime users of their product. There are many alternatives to pain treatment than pharmaceutical heroin and yet we dispense enough pain killers every year to keep the entire nation drugged up for a whole month. Furthermore, the brain chemistry is so changed after just 30 days of usage, those who do get clean have a hard time feeling anything for months and months, further compounding their ability to stay clean. Who can make a real difference against a billion dollar industry? Thank you for waving the red flag these last 6 years. I look forward to reading your book.

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