“OxyContin In Your Words” stories are unedited accounts of OxyContin and heroin addiction. Help us break through the shame of addiction and share your own story. Confidentiality, if requested, is assured.
I don’t do it as often as before you see
But last night I found myself crying as hard as can be.
My heart has been shattered
Because you are what mattered
To pick up the pieces, I try
But so often I can’t, so I cry.
See, I should have been able to save you
After all, you were my son!
But something else got ahold of you too
We all fought it, even you.
And in the end, the little pill that killed my son, won.
As much as I wanted and you did too,
That something took your life
And tore my heart like a knife in two.
I’ve tried to fix my broken heart,
But some days it just comes unglued.
What am I supposed to do
Since my life had been torn apart from losing you?
I wipe my eyes and put on a smile
I pick up the phone and go to dial
I cannot call you on the phone
There is no more dial tone.
So I shout out loud: I WANT MY SON BACK!
GIVE HIM TO ME!
But silence is all that I hear,
An answer is what I lack.
As I sleep that night
You come to me in a bright light
“Mom, you have to get up,
You have to move on.”
“Wait,” I say, “I need my baby.”
“No Mom, he’s gone.”
“But I want you with me, don’t you see?”
“It can no longer be. I am now free,
No more fighting,
No more pain,
No more sorrow,
For now I am at peace.”
You need to know that, Mom.
It’s okay to cry,
But now you have to go on.
There is much left to do in your life
You are not through.
Mom, I’m so proud of you.
You are a Survivor! Tell your story
To all who will listen!
You will save lives,
God gives his permission.
You say you have no more fight left,
But Mom, on this I will bet:
You are stronger than anyone I know
And “FIGHT” is the power God gave to you!
So Mom, go out and live!
Fight for those who need you!
With me, your fight is through
But I will always be beside you,
~ Submitted by Melissa Pavel Traylor